Dear Homophobic People

Dear Homophobic Person,

First, how are you doing? I recognise that it’s a tough life for you today in 2019. An Asian country just legalised same-sex marriage which I’m sure just really drove the idea home that this is a downhill battle. Not that that stops you; I’d find that kind of integrity impressive if your ideals hadn’t been born from hate. But we all make bad choices.

Second, we need to talk.

Now if you’re sitting there getting preemptively offended because you’re not sure if I’m addressing you, then yes, I’m addressing you. Actually. No. Not this time. I’m not talking to you because let’s be real, you’ve chosen your side. If you wanna hate me, I’m not going to change your mind. And I’m not going to waste my time trying. Well, I don’t think I’ll change the mind of the people I’m addressing either, so I guess what I’m saying is I’m done with you. Goodbye.

This is isn’t even for the people who are are homophobic but think I’m a lovely and engaging girl so they pretend I’m straight when they’re talking to me so that they don’t have to question their beliefs that all queer people are bad people. Or the people that ask me “Are you sure you’re not straight?” (this one also applies to the biphobic gay people who ask me if I’m sure I’m not gay) for the hundredth time. Yes, I’m sure. If you’re not convinced I can tell you about the dream I had the other night of me and a girl, but it might make you blush.

No, I’m talking to the people who are reading this and feel offended, but are pretending they’re not. Because in their minds I can’t be talking about them. Sure, they don’t agree with it, but they recognise that bisexuality is a thing that I am for some reason, they believe that it wasn’t a choice, they think I should just choose to only be with men but they recognise that they can’t impose that and that I totally 100% deserve rights – except the rights to marry certain people or parent children but they’ll be personally happy that I’m happy if I choose to do those things and they’ll just pray for my soul, society and/or the hypothetical child.

I’m talking to the people who think they’re not homophobic because homophobic is rightfully becoming a bad thing to be in our society. I have just two things to say to you:

1.) You’re wrong. You are totally homophobic. But thank you for not thinking I deserve to be stoned? I guess?

2.) Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

I don’t care what you have to say. I honestly don’t. It’s not against nature. And you know it. There’s nothing psychologically wrong with me. You’re not a psychiatrist so you don’t get to tell me my brain is wrong. But maybe you should consider seeing one. Finally, STOP PRETENDING YOU CARE ABOUT BIOLOGY. Because first of all, you took one class in high school, you need more prerequisites that that for me to patiently listen to your brand of dumbassery. Second, since you pretend to be so interested in Darwinism let me explain a few things to you. Sexual attraction and sexual conduct are not mutually exclusive, you can have sex with someone you’re not attracted to, you can even have fun sex while having sex with someone you’re not attracted to, and since people have been because you’ve been locking them in the closet under threat of death we’ve had ample opportunity to pass our genes on. Plus, studies have shown that maternal female relatives of gay men tend to have more children than maternal female relatives of straight people. So if we’re talking about about evolution and survival of the fittest, we’ve got you beat. If you were right, we’d have died millennia ago.

But of-course, you’re not going to listen to that. Because I’ve tried to tell you before and you haven’t listened. You don’t care about anything that proves you wrong.

I just don’t understand what you’re expecting my reaction to be when you say homophobic things to me. Are you expecting me to agree with you? You’re not actually that stupid, are you? I know that you know I’m the most tolerant of shitty ideas compared to most people you know. However, you act like my tolerance is your license to say whatever you want. So if I don’t get mad, then it’s okay to think the way you think. If I do get mad, then I’m overreacting due to personal bias, and it’s still okay to think the way you think. But here’s the thing, I always get mad when you say that shit. I just don’t have the emotional energy to pretend like you give a fuck to what I have to say. Because yeah, I’m biased and I recognise that. But so are you and I’m sick and tired of you pretending like you have an objective point of view. All you have is the narcissistic belief that your ideas are fact even when you’re presented by facts that prove you wrong.

Nature is on my side. Psychiatry is on my side. Science is on my side. The law is on my side. Society is slowly joining my side. The only one on your side is the mirror.

Of-course, there is one area which we don’t know whose side it’s on. But here’s the thing, the theological quandaries about my sexuality have nothing to do with you. You don’t get to judge, read the Bible another time, it backs me up on that. The theological questions regarding my sexuality, and whether I choose or not to conduct myself in accordance with it, are between me and God. You don’t form a part of that equation. And if you ignore the countless number of verses telling you that you don’t have the right to judge, then you quoting six verses from the Bible to me is nothing short of hypocrisy. And the Bible has things to say about hypocrisy as well.

Of-course, that’s not for me to judge, and I’m not saying it is. That’s between you and your God. I’m just telling you that your theological based opinions on me and my life have no merit. I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you don’t decide. And maybe you haven’t added two and two, but it’s your God that made me bisexual. If He makes no mistakes, if He made me in His image, then by insulting me, one of God’s children, then you are insulting Him and His judgment. By thinking I’m an abomination, you’re placing your opinions over His will.

So I don’t know if theology is on my side. Maybe it’s not. But I do know it’s not on your side.

Yet, despite all of this, I am willing to pretend you’re not homophobic. I am willing to continue to be friends. But you have to stop with your thinly veiled remarks about the LGBT+ community. You especially have to stop judging. And you are ne-ver allowed to tell me that there is something psychologically wrong with me being attracted to women again. Just abide by the golden rule. If you have nothing nice to say about us, then don’t say anything at all.

But if you choose to say something offensive to me ever again, whilst expecting me not to get offended, then you don’t get to be offended when I tell you to shut the fuck up.

Sincerely tired of your bullshit,
Richela

P.S. Don’t even bother messaging me to tell me you’re offended. I don’t care. Because you certainly don’t.
P.S.S. I will accept (even if I don’t expect) an apology. Do with that as you will.

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