The Actress

I’ve spent half my life scared,
Metamorphosis, it’s the sweetest release.

i.

Wind runs through my hair,
Makes me feel alive,
And I raise my arms,
Thinking I can finally fly,
He grabs my hands
And I laugh as I look in his eyes,
I feel tethered for a second,
Feel my heart beating
And admit the miracle of it.

I’m not the kind of girl
You can lock in a cage,
Listen to my song tonight,
Because you’ll never hear it again.

ii.

The cliched story of someone
Losing themselves in a new land,
But it was in finding my way
Back to the girl I wanted to be,
That I found out the girl I lost
Was left so far back in my past
I didn’t even remember
Who the fuck I was.

iii.

I’ve heard people tell me
Who exactly they think I am,
Heard the good and the bad,
And felt equally disturbed by all of it,
Because I’ve never shown my soul,
To a single person on this Earth,
So they don’t get to decide.

I’m too young to know who I am,
But I’ve felt hatred induced starvation,
Memories fogged by debilitating depression,
Felt a blade against my skin and I know,
That nobody has seen the darkness in me.

But I’m old enough to know that
No one was born to live in the night,
That my heart beats with fervour,
That my eyes shine in awe of the rising sun,
That I laugh and I smile like breathing,
That my hope could power this whole wide world.

I know that I was born to be happy.

I’m not that complex,
But I’m not a cliche,
Nobody knows me,
Because I want it that way.

iv.

Maybe that’s the
Realization of my fear,
Because when I look in the mirror,
I see I’ve taken off the mask,
Maybe I don’t know who I am,
But I know who I’m not,
And I’m scared people love the character
More than they’ll ever like the actress.

But I’m not the kind of girl,
You can lock in a cage,
I won’t sing your song,
It’s just not as good.

However, if you’re willing to listen,
I’m willing to stay for a while,
Because I’ve finally found
The strength I need to ground myself.

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